What are you running from?Caleb is driving, therefore I get to put on playlists as loud as they will go. This one is called YESTERDAYS, which means every song has the word Yesterday in the title. It's ridiculous. I only turn it up until I can feel the melody in my very blood and no further, though if you ask those with perfect hearing they may claim it's a volume that hurts. They're not wrong. It hurts me too and I like it.
Taking pills to get along
Creating walls to call your own
So no one catches you drifting off and
Doing all the things that we all do
We have business downtown. I keep saying he should summon everyone to the point instead, because even the bankers will come to you now but he prefers to keep business in offices and keep home for not working much at all anymore. We split up for two meetings, meeting back up for the third and end with brunch, which to him is a good enough reason to head downtown. We find a patio that isn't even open for the season as of yet but he speaks with someone and soon we are seated alone outside under the first turns of the newly serviced heaters. Every place has them here. We have them at home. It makes a nice difference but I leave my coat on nonetheless. Might have to make a quick getaway. Might have to make sure my food isn't poisoned. Might have to face this firing squad of one as he calmly reloads, missing me by a hair's breadth over and over again.
Why this song?
It's sad. It hurts.
And this is good?
Oh, yes. It also has no history for me. I like that part more.
I remember this, I think. You were out of school.
Yes.
I was already practicing.
Yes.
Seems like a million years ago.
Twenty years.
Jesus Christ. Do you not SEE how time is speeding past? He begins to speed. I jumped forty feet when he yelled. I would have launched myself out of the car had it featured a sunroof.
Diabhal, please slow dow-
Keep the fucking ring, Bridget. Know that it represents all of my promises to you with assurances that I don't expect more than I have but I want to-no, I NEED to legitimatize this relationship and the only way I can see to do that is to have you wear a ring from me.
If you were secure in your own-
It's not for me. It's for you. And I ran it by Lochlan. He didn't care.
Don't believe him because he's lying to you.
Maybe he and the rest of the Collective enjoy the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. Maybe the threat of losing it on a whim by a girl with a head full of stars and cotton candy is a difficult threat to live under every single day.
Then maybe you should give them rings and they would have that security.
They believe in you, Bridget.
Well, that's dumb. But I say it under my breath, facing away from him, looking out the window at the cold rain on the streets as we drive home. The ring is heavy on my finger but heavier on my heart.