Monday 18 August 2014

World domination on a preteen maturity level.

I remain sweetly satisfied that I gave that horse a beautiful place to finish out her days and am incredibly grateful to Ben for his efforts in dealing with this as quickly as he could. He found her on the ground in her stall (said he wouldn't fall for her and he lied, they all lied and spent more time with her than I did) and the first thing he did was text PJ and tell him not to let me out. PJ then invited Joel over to be flayed alive. Two birds, one stone, they figured. PJ and Ben are quite the productive duo when it comes managing me and while I am blissfully ignorant of fully half of the efforts they put in, I appreciate the full hundred percent.

The boys called the vet, arranged for the haulers and also cleaned the stables once Aurora was removed. Ben himself moved all my art supplies back into the stables once the floors were dry and said we really have enough to deal with around here without having to nurture end of life animals larger than him.

So my plan to create a hospice for horses is not going to fly but that's okay. I like the art studio. Besides, most of my plans get vetoed anyway.

For example:

Let's paint the house black! Like the old one. It'll be great.

Let's set up a trapeze at the edge of the yard. 

No? Okay, maybe just a bungy jump. Dip your head in the sea. 

Let's buy the other eight houses up the road and block the highway exit to the neighborhood and NEVER EVER LEAVE. 

Let's all fly to Australia but just for the day because bugs. Big freaking bugs. I couldn't sleep there.

Let's shave Daniel's head but only on each side and leave the middle for a foot-tall mohawk which would be a great way to relive the 90s when Daniel had to duck to get through doorways.

Let's go eat somewhere weird for dinner. I don't mean A&W. (The A&Ws here ARE weird, for the record)

Let's put two entire bags of chocolate chips in this recipe instead of two cups.

Let's have a horror movie marathon and eat saaaaaaalsa and grapes but call them guts and eyeballs.

Let's stay on the octopus until we throw up.

Etc. etc. No one listens to me. Would you? The only person who forces my adult side is the devil and that doesn't seem to be working any better. It's fine, I don't actually want to discuss that today anyway.

I have today to relax and unclench and drink coffee out front with Matt and Andrew (Andrew is officially on duty in case I crash) and then maybe later I'll paint. Lochlan is working and Ben is working and PJ is still asleep! At eleven in the morning! Because what a lazy fuck!

Maybe I should be PJ when I grow up.

I would totally do it just for the beard. Oh WAIT! Peeing standing up! I'm game. Bring it on.