Wednesday 4 June 2014

The tiny little cave-dweller in her tiny little mind cave.

PJ brought me breakfast in bed after I called him and said I wasn't facing the world today. He's an enabler. He brought coffee and toast. However, he's a big jerk too, because he always punishes us somehow.

The coffee was decaf and the toast? Whole wheat.

I ate it all anyway. Joke's on him. Or me. Us, it's on us. He got yelled at for doing it and then so did I and next time I told him we'll bar the door and set a course for far-away shores. The fabric draped all over my bedposts will function as sails and the bed itself can be the boat. PJ can be the captain and I'll be the wench. Or maybe the pirate.

PJ just shook his head sadly and reiterated that his role involves a hierarchy and tough shit for everyone else, because Bridget's at the top.

Remind me to get someone to give him a raise or a perk or something.

He said he would take hugs but they had to be long and regular.

Like a maxipad? I asked him and he said yes but way more absorbant. Ewwwwww, I squealed and he laughed.

We're not dysfunctional, I swear.

I didn't want to get up but they made me anyway because I'm sick of deflecting the threats off Caleb and I'm sick of wondering what the hell he's doing and I'm sick of all of it today. I need a vacation and a long bender.  I need a nap. I need anti-anxiety drugs and a good hard fuck and I need a change of scenery.

Ben said he has a surprise for me tonight. I was so wary I asked if Loch was in on it and he looked at me strangely and said of course. For some reason I expected him to produce a recently-procured pewter envelope but he didn't. He said I should help him paint the new doors. He said I should take it easy though, and go slowly. He said I'm doing really good but when I looked at Sam I could see it was less of an observation and more of a reassurance because it's all bullshit and I'm not doing so hot today.

That's why I wanted to stay in bed but they don't understand that, it seems.