Monday 16 September 2013

Not a plan so much as a wish.

And your heart beats so slow
Through the rain and fallen snow
Across the fields of mourning
Lights in the distance
Don't shoot me, for I'm just the messenger here. I said it once if I said it a dozen times as Lochlan's unbalanced, impulsive plan is met with derision, disbelief.

Duncan's pretty sure he falls outside of the parameters. He's not a devil, he's certainly no angel and he's not a project currently underway. He laughs about the bullshit part, though, as if Lochlan conveniently managed to herd everyone who didn't fall into a specific label as a remainder and therefore still liable.

He says no in his cool throwaway voice and laughs out loud. He points at me and asks if I think Lochlan has any leverage here at all. I shake my head. He asks if I plan to only accept hugs and comfort from Lochlan and I open my mouth and Duncan answers for me in a thick Scottish bleat of indignation. Of course! I'm Greedy MacHoggish and I can provide everything she needs! 

I laughed and then I wanted to cry again but the time for that has passed.

You're going to have to show him your balls, Bridget. 

Well then I'm really in trouble because I don't have any. I'm a girl.

You've got the biggest balls of all of us. 

That's saying a lot of mean things all at once. 

You going to let him mow you down? 

He's trying to protect me. 

Naw, he's only trying to protect himself. 

From what?

Bridget, your fears and his aren't all that different. 

So you're on his side? You think what he's trying to do is okay?

I didn't say that, I'm just reminding you that the fear of losing someone is huge. Huge.