Monday 7 December 2009

I played my best for Him.

Was going through my tech cupboard, deciding which things to keep and which to discard and on one of my old cellphones was a video of Jacob singing Little Drummer Boy in church to the Sunday school classes, Christmas Eve 2006.

Wow.

To keep, by far. I would post it if I still had the software to get it off the phone. Arms thrown back, messy blonde curls, eyes closed at the end. Dear lord, my boys singing Christmas carols is oddly especially stinging. All of them. It doesn't matter if PJ is crashing through the house singing I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus or Ben with O Holy Night last year.

It's just a thing, okay?

A really hard thing.

Upward, princess. Onward, go! he would say.