Thursday 12 March 2009

To keep.

Your Cinderella stories, for a price.
Jake used to tell me I could have made a career out of missing Benjamin. If only someone would have paid me.

He's probably right. I started waiting for Ben before his plane took off, I started marking days and counting hours before he was settled in and I decided I was going to take it personally within seconds of being told where he was going, and when he would be back.

Lucky for all of us, I have since changed my mind on that last point.

I won't take it personally because it isn't personal and it has nothing to do with me. On the other hand, it has everything to do with me and in my universe you need to be tough and you need to step up and swing for home because I can't. I don't care if you score, I don't care if you foul out, just make the damn effort on my behalf and you've already won.

Be my hero because you are my hero.

Ben has won his war, he just needs to clean up the collateral damage and that is what he has gone back to his battlefield to do.

Lochlan is taking good care of me, because he promised Ben that he would. He made similar promises to Cole and to Jake and for some reason I wound up with a great bunch of guys I owe my life to. Lochlan made some difficult and incredibly unpopular choices for our benefit, on our behalf, and I was too selfish and too blind to see that he did this for us, for Ben and I, that he knew I would hate him and he sent Ben away anyway, because Ben needs to get better so that Bridget can have her Happily Ever After finally, at long last. I didn't see that, and I'm sorry.

Heroes come in many forms, and I am a lucky girl. I'm just usually thinking too loud to hear you when you tell me.