Tuesday 13 February 2007

War of the roses.

We're affecting a habit here. The flower shop deliveryman just left. He thinks this is a riot.

Today has brought lavender roses.

I've never even heard of lavender roses before.

And I am officially a rotten, no-good girl, having picked a fight with Mr. Incredible mere moments ago as he headed down to work for a little bit. Well, maybe that's harsh analysis, for it was mostly a disagreement about something that can't be fixed anyways, so my stance was not to even think about it, while he wants to process it, and deal with it and accept it. My apathy drives him up the wall. He thinks I don't care, and he refuses to accept that the apathy is my coping method. If I think about it I'll dissolve. 'What' I'll not think about will be left to another time, simply because I'm not ready to bring it up any further than I just did. My mistake.

So now I'm feeling guilty for not just giving in to everything he wants because he's being adorable. Balance is a difficult thing for me, I've made no secret about being easily influenced by Jacob to the point where he calls all the shots, micro-managing Bridget to the point where it could become unhealthy. I said could.

I'm just trying to not fall into old habits. He means well, he really does. And it would be a good move overall to deal with things, but perhaps it would also destroy whatever place I have come to emotionally, and I'm not willing to sacrifice this for the greater good. Would you?

In the meantime, my house smells like an English garden. I had forgotten how beautiful roses are, especially in the drab, cold days at the end of winter.